Church and hearing God...

     O lord, your words were grand today...  I went to the house of God this morning for some much needed words of love and wisdom..  The message was strong to have that Faith that strong faith that no matter whats happening Faith, you know who you stand with Faith through the fire and rain...  It reassured my heart and soul that I'm doing the right thing.  Trusting in you my Father following in Jesus foot steps.   It gave me further strength and faith..  I attended a house of God this morning a place I had never been.  I visited this house of God a couple years ago at a different location.  It has now merged with another congregation.  Today I accepted Jesus in front of the congregation.  ( I accepted him on my own a couple months ago) and this morning was blessed with gaining new brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I haven't since I was a young girl faced the congregation.  And actually not in the way I did today.  The paster told me these are all my brothers and sisters...  And I replied good I need everyone of them.  I wasn't scared to look out at them at all.  I didn't feel like I was being judge I felt I was truly being welcomed...  Today was a best day..  Maybe I have found my home in the Lord...  With love Janice

Isaiah 56:1

     This is what the lord says:

          " Maintain justice and do what is right...

     For my salvation is close at hand...

     And my righteousness will soon be revealed..

     Blessed is the one who does this...

          The persons who holds this fast...

     Who keeps the sabbath without desecrating it...

         And keeps their hands from doing any evil...

Just some thoughts...

     Yesterday, I was missing mama...  And I posted on facebook the profile that I made in memorance of her.  I made a picture album to with pictures of the family.  Me my children their children and great grandchildren..  It is mostly for us family who miss her.  But all of a sudden when I was doing it.  I though about the celebration of life.  I have difficulties, bad bad back panic disorder among other things.  And as I visit blogs and facebook friends.  I'm noticing I'm not alone at the least.  I quit going to the Jehovah Witness Kingdom Hall , the only way I mostly knew all my life.  But because thats how I was brought up.  I knew some what of other faiths...  But not like them.  Certain events pushed me to look into the structure of them.  And I found it unbelievable...  I was sadden, but relieved as well.  The pressure is to much.  So at any rate I miss the ritual of going to church and the association.  But I can not do fake and pretent it has never been me.  But I'm learning as I go along.  So I feel I have grown some what.  Which brought me to the thinking of the celebration of life.  I know this much for sure.  I believe in God and the Christ.  And I believe we should not take life for granted.  And I know following our lords way makes it easier to swallow this crazy world ways and actions.  I'm also glad I'm no part of this upside down world.   As he says Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone love the world, the Father is not in him.. 1John 2:15.  Celebration of Life...  There were celebrations of life, one when Jesus brought Lazarus back to life.  The passover was a celebration ?  I think we should cherish life.  Not take it for granted.  Life is about living and death.  And in between learning gaining knowledge and wisdom, but I believe it to be in our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.  I'm 58 years of age but I have yet to gain all that is necessary, but are grateful that the Heavenly Father is showing me the way to it.  So that is a celebration Of my life...  Faith in him ✨💛✨ 

   With love, Janice... .  

Struggle...

     The word struggle means different things to everyone.  As I struggle with my life trying to make heads or tails out of it.  Trying to understand the meaning of why I exist at times.  I know I'm not alone in this wonderment.  I don't know why I'm here on this earth or what my real purpose is.  I have struggled throughout my life with so many things from a young age into my adulthood.  Bad relationship with my father because of his alcoholism, bad relationships because of their own additions starting with a boyfriend who turned to using drugs and my own self using light weight drugs...  My brothers my cousins my friends. Thank God I had sense to walk out of it.  All the childhood neighborhood ended up using drugs..  Once upon a time things were wonderful in our neighborhood..  Full of kids and families a community of mixed races among a Russian community...  I have wondered in my mind many times was this my destiny a life of struggle.  Was it dads fault for becoming a alcoholic was it moms fault for not leaving dad.  Was it my fault for anything.  I don't know.  But I'm sitting here at 58 wondering and saying to myself I should have been stronger..  So many things I should have done differently..  I can't change the past only the future.  I'm ready to move on my own.  I'm tired of cleaning up after grown children who are adults with their own children.  I'm tired of all the struggles I had to endure all my life.  And now I struggle with Church and where I should belong.  I haven't given up God and my Lord Jesus Christ, because honestly with out them I would have absolutely nothing at all ...  It is all I have left in my life..  Really I think it is all I ever had..  If it wasn't for him my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ I don't believe I would have survived this long..  Today I read a post that made me feel good..  About asking God to asking the Lord to prop you up...  I'm asking today for him to prop me up...  Straighten me out dear Heavenly Father and my Lord Jesus Christ..  Show me which way I should be walking in your light...  

     I liked this as well she posted this too, 

Dear Lord, 

     Help me lean on you today.  My life I yield to you, A channel for thy love and grace to be.  Use me as thy wilt, I humbly pray.  To point some soul unto the living way.  More purity give me, more longings for home.  More fir for thy Kingdom, more use would I be, more blessed and holy....  More Saviour, like thee... 

     Our struggle may be, but we need to lean on him, more and more asking him for what we need..   Thank you Sylvia for sharing your post this morning Slyvia is from the blog  A grandmas blessing @ http://agrandmasblissings.blogspot.com/.  Plz visit her to see the original post

 With love, Janice

His word my life...

     I have not written for so long time.  After I wrote a good part of things about my life all of a sudden it just stopped.  I had nothing to say.  But yet I had an abundance to say but couldn't.  I have started to read the book of proverbs.  I have only read the first three chapters and read them twice.  It is a book of wisdom and wise words.

                   In the book of Proverbs 

 Chapter Three...

        Verse one, My son, do not forget my law.  But let your heart keep my commands.

These words are very clear to me. . .

        Verse two, For length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.

        Verse three, Let not Mercy and truth forsake you;  bind them around your neck, write them on a tablet of your heart..

        Verse four, And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man.  I have found much calmness within myself..  Though many things are still upside down.  I'am learning not to let life control me. But to trust in my lord Jesus and My Heavenly Father to guide me and walk me through the journey of my life.  For I know that I can not do it alone.  And I'm learning that I'm not here to live my life for me, but for him.  Life's pangs can get you caught up in thinking and following of the worlds way of doing things and of yourself rather than of God and others who need help..  Finding yourself, you can do that through and with God and his son Jesus Christ.  I do believe that the Bible has been in this world for such a long time for a reason..  It is a book of faith and much more than most realize..

With love Janice...

       

Christmas tradition..

 Hello, yes it has been a while.  My mind has gone through many transactions of thinking things through.  Trying to understand all things pertaining to God and his son Jesus.  I'm trying to figure out what is truth and what is not which isn't easy.   Today I looked up Christmas.  and I believe Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus Christ.  Here is a link that explains much about the tradtion of Christmas and what it has not to do with Jesus Christ.  https://realtruth.org/articles/169-ttooc.html  I have found it to be quite interssting.  If you are intersting you cna go and check it out for yourself.  Intersting readings.  

                  

   

Mentally tired

        Today i seemed to be hanging on by a thread a thread of his word...  In my mind it passes 

   through   

                     Isaiah 41:10.

              So do not fear, for I am with you;
          do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

       I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

These words have kept me here, know that he is and so is his son who gave his life for mine

Who did it for the sake of me to receive forgiveness for my sins...

I'm tired today for my mind went through a stressful day yesterday with my daughter..  And I didn't sleep well at all...  But I fell as if I have a ton of bricks sitting on me and I can't even lift them off..

       Where do I turn who do I talk to no one there is no one for everyone is so not trust worthy no one is a real friend ...  Only he is God. Jehovah and our Lord and King Jesus Christ...  I believe in them because I'm still here No matter how difficult my life is I have to have faith and belief that he is with me to the end...