Friday, October 14, 2016

Cancer and a friend

     Today I want to talk about this ackward place...  Meaning my very first bf from when I was young...  His gf now has a uncurable cancer..  I had recently went to a so kind of battle with him about our oast and went through some changes but came out in a better place finally closing that door.  The whole say about four months give or take.  I still sent him messages text..  He wouldnt talk to me for a minute and recently decided to respond.  He is going through it and her as well.  They have given her three months to live.  My heart aches for them both.  My grandmother died of cancer and battled with it for years, but she lived to 68.  They woman is young I believe 47 and its just said that our world has so many horrible things that people get.  A close friend also died of cancer at 34..  She had four kids still young..  They gave her six months but she only made four the chemo had not the lights out of her...  It was difficult watching her die.  I feel that I'm doing the right thing in Gods eyes to be there not just for him but her as well.  Today he said he was having a most difficult day..  So I tried to comfort him with bible scriptures that I found online and the last one being the most comforting one for me.  Which is Isaiah 41:10.   It says Do not be afraid for Iam with you  don't be discouraged for I'am your God I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.  This is what helped me survive my panic disorder my children my brother drug addiction my mom dying and all the after affects  of everything.  You hear people say to find peace you need to find God and it is true.  I'm finding peace within myself more and more as I grow in God and his son Jesus Christ.  As I keep trusting in him I don't feel so anxious anymore.  I find that I can be calm, make calmer decisions...  It really doesn't feel awkward at all it feels right to be of help anyway that I can..  Bless us all o Lord and Father of prayers.  I'm reaching out for you to guide me to help them..  To reunite them both with you God and your son son Jesus Christ...  The only begotten one who gave his life for ours to be saved from sin..  Please dirrect me forgive me for my sins keep me with you always, all this I ask in the name of your son Christ Jesus Amen...

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Church and hearing God...

     O lord, your words were grand today...  I went to the house of God this morning for some much needed words of love and wisdom..  The message was strong to have that Faith that strong faith that no matter whats happening Faith, you know who you stand with Faith through the fire and rain...  It reassured my heart and soul that I'm doing the right thing.  Trusting in you my Father following in Jesus foot steps.   It gave me further strength and faith..  I attended a house of God this morning a place I had never been.  I visited this house of God a couple years ago at a different location.  It has now merged with another congregation.  Today I accepted Jesus in front of the congregation.  ( I accepted him on my own a couple months ago) and this morning was blessed with gaining new brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I haven't since I was a young girl faced the congregation.  And actually not in the way I did today.  The paster told me these are all my brothers and sisters...  And I replied good I need everyone of them.  I wasn't scared to look out at them at all.  I didn't feel like I was being judge I felt I was truly being welcomed...  Today was a best day..  Maybe I have found my home in the Lord...  With love Janice


Sunday, October 2, 2016

Isaiah 56:1

     This is what the lord says:
          " Maintain justice and do what is right...
     For my salvation is close at hand...
     And my righteousness will soon be revealed..
     Blessed is the one who does this...
          The persons who holds this fast...
     Who keeps the sabbath without desecrating it...
         And keeps their hands from doing any evil...