My pain

Dear Lord of the heavens can you please take my pain from my soul. And set me free..  I have loved him my whole life not knowing it would once again choke my soul to feel such an uncomfortable uneasy feeling...  Why does he refuse to tell me so I can close the door behind me instead to it wagging back and forth...  It would be clearer for me if I could close this wagging door and put the lock on it...   O help me dear Lord help me rid myself of this pain im tired of it oh my Father in heaven..  My tears flow down with great impact not knowing which way to turn. Then i think of you...   I know that your there some where but it feels so far away...  Saturate me with your love Jehovah over whelm me with peace in my heart.  Yank my hand please and take me next to you.  Lift me up and whirl me around you fill me with every thought of you and Jesus your son.  Show me how to walk inside his steps show me oh Father show me, my soul is tortured with the pangs of life..  Make me utter your will upon my lips. Make it flow from my soul through my heart off my tongue through my lips into the hearts and ears of those who want and need to hear... You are my heavenly Father my refuge, my only place to be me, real me...  Sometimes I wonder who I'am but when I seek you I know because you set me straight...  I need constant utterance of you and my lord Jesus to keep my soul strong my heart right my thoughts right...   Don't leave me ever..  Stay until my devine end and later make me brand new...  To fill the new system of things...  Help me to reach you and see the birds fly and the animals walk freely by me with neither of us to quiver ...   Let me finally feel peace in my heart please...  I ask you this truly with my heart Oh dear hearer of prayers...